About

All-Visible

All Visible. All the time.

I am a single Mom to two amazing boys.

I came crashing into my adulthood at an early age moving to the wild lands of NYC to be a professional ballet dancer with the New York City Ballet. Little did I know, but many of the challenging lessons learned in those intense years in bloody pointe shoes amongst the backdrop of Manhattan, would come in handy as necessary skills as a Mom later on. You often think you need to learn to swaddle and burp. Yes, all true. But what you actually need to know is sheer determination and will, dedication beyond no measure, to laugh whenever and as much as you can. To have the inner grit to not just follow the norm and make sure your kiddo is on that perfect developmental trajectory, but be able to be radically different and fiercely courageous. To blaze through your fears, to ignore physical pain and discomfort in general and to do it all with a smile.

See, I’m a single Mama to two amazing boys: one is Neurotypical (you might say “normal” and my peeps might shudder) and one is Autistic and Non-Speaking (some professionals would categorize this as Severe, Class C, Non Verbal — and they would also completely miss seeing my kid in the process). We are a wildly adventurous, silly, deep, boldly honest, real family riding the waves of creating a harmonious life together in a society that has not yet embraced inclusion of people with disability. Through trial and error I’ve learned what works (and doesn’t) and I want to share it all in the effort to save anyone some mistakes.

This blog is going to be really gritty. Funny. Educational. Hopeful. I might drop some F* Bombs. I also hope to inspire you along the way. I’m not looking for sympathy or commiseration, I’d like totally the opposite. It’s not easy this parenting thing, much less adding in disability into the mix. But I believe people need to see all the messy parts and for us to be as vulnerable and real as possible to soak in the message that: yes, you can have happiness amongst challenge, you can feel gratitude even when it’s hard, you will have ups and downs in life and that is all natural. You are meant to handle it all and only with the full spectrum of life can you truly life a life full, expansive. You can choose comfort or growth, but you can’t have both. And I’m okay with that, I like the edges and the push, there is confidence built when you stretch yourself. You will see my family in a lot of stretching and growing. It’ll look uncomfortable and triumphant all at the same time.

Why ALL VISIBLE?

When my youngest was at preschool his amazing school director led a talk about her approach. She talked about getting the kids out into downtown of the city during the work day, because as she said: “Kids aren’t visible to the adult world and it’s incredible to see what happens when you integrate them into it and how the adults and kids change.” It was brilliant and she was so forward thinking, I loved it and adored her. But I kept thinking to myself, yes, but that is because these are all typical kids. What about the disabled? What about kids like my eldest that might be hitting himself or make different sounds in this “adult world”? The reality is currently, through no fault of his own, his trajectory is that he would be excluded, ignored, hidden away. I was astonished at the reality of disparity between what opportunities my youngest had compared to my eldest. He deserved to be seen. I wanted him to know and feel he was worthy too. He had a place in this world. He too, could be visible.

That is where it hit me: we ALL want to be VISIBLE.

Isn’t that what it is all about?
To be fully seen, radically accepted in all our mess and our glory?
Not just when it’s easy or we are doing it all perfect (because what is that anyways?). But when it’s actually stretching someone and uncomfortable, when we need to grow together. Shame can’t live in a space where we are seen and accepted. Vulnerability is the only way forward. We go out in public, I strategize for how to include both my sons. We are a hot mess, we are success. We are perfectly imperfect. People stare, they ignore. It’s all of it.

But if we can get to the point that my family is actually seen, my Autistic son is seen for who he is and not just his differences, then that is a hella good barometer for societies baseline. It’s a grand start.

For us to be All Visible. And for each one of you, ALL of us, to be VISIBLE. That would change everything.

So here we are, my little family and I, on this cute adorable mission to simply: CHANGE EVERYTHING BY BEING SEEN.

Simple. True. We want you all, to feel: ALL VISIBLE.

Aura